Pathwork meditation is a marriage of the contemplative tradition and an active, exploratory venture. It is an ongoing dialogue between three selves.
In effective meditation the conscious ego level activates both the unconscious, egotistical, destructive self and the supra-conscious, superior universal self. A constant interaction among these three levels must take place, requiring a tremendous amount of alertness on the part of your conscious ego self. The conscious ego must be completely determined to allow the unconscious egotistical self to reveal itself, to unfold, to manifest in awareness, to express itself. This is neither as difficult nor as easy as it may seem. It is difficult exclusively, my friends, because of the fear of not being as perfect, as evolved, as good, as rational, as ideal, as one wants to be and even pretends to be, so that on the surface of consciousness the ego becomes almost convinced of being the idealized self-image. This surface conviction is constantly counteracted by the unconscious knowledge that this image is untrue, with the result that secretly the whole personality feels fraudulent and terrified of exposure.
It is a significant sign of self-acceptance and growth when a human being is capable of allowing the egotistical, irrational, outright destructive child to manifest in the inner awareness, and acknowledges it in all its specific detail. This alone will prevent a dangerous indirect manifestation of which the person’s consciousness is not aware because it is not connected with it, so that the undesirable results seem to come from outside. If your meditation is not to be a lopsided endeavor, it must deal with this kind of blindness.
The egotistical infant’s antisocial desires and claims, convictions and attitudes must be exposed in exact detail. It seems hard to accept that there is something in you that is so very different from the way you want to be and the way you think of yourself. Meditation must constantly encourage this self-revelation not only in a general sense, but primarily in specific daily situations that are unpleasant or unsatisfactory.
The conscious ego has to reach down and say, “Whatever is in me, whatever is hidden that I ought to know about myself, whatever negativity and destructiveness there is should be out in the open. I want to see it, I commit myself to seeing it, regardless of the hurt to my vanity. I want to be aware of how I deliberately refuse to see my part wherever I am stuck, and how I therefore over-concentrate on the wrongs of others.” This is one direction for meditation. The other direction must be toward the universal higher self, which has powers that surpass the limitations of the conscious self.
These higher powers should also be called upon to expose the destructive little self, so that resistance can be overcome. The ego-will alone may be incapable of accomplishing this, but the ego can and must meditate to request the higher powers to help. The universal consciousness should also be asked to help you to understand the expressions of the destructive infant correctly, without exaggeration, so that you do not go from ignoring it to making it a monster. A person can easily fluctuate from an outer self-aggrandizement to a hidden inner self-deprecation.
When the destructive infant reveals itself, one could fall prey to believing that this destructive self is the ultimate, sad reality. For a complete perspective on the revelation of the egotistic infant, one needs to ask constantly the guidance of the universal self.
Meditate on these words, for they contain much!